Ronald Hayse Goodwin: A Tribute to a Life Well Lived

  To Ron, my Prince Charming

So quick of mind, and quick to laugh,

My love, you were and always will be,

       My guiding light, my star, my life.       

Our souls were entwined together here

And are in all eternity.

Anna Goodwin (Ana Parker Goodwin) one of the members of Writing North Idaho, recently lost her beloved husband of 49 years, Ronald Hayse Goodwin, following a valiant battle with COPD. During a memorial service on October 11, family and friends shared their memories of Ron through their stories, poems, and songs.

Their words alternately brought laughter, nods of agreement, and tears. His wife, our friend, remained silent, allowing others to read the words she found impossible to voice aloud about her loving husband who encouraged and supported her career as psychotherapist, writer, and author; through both word and deed. Her daughter read a tribute to her dad, describing the gifts he gave her. Her loss struck each of us when emotions overcame her voice as she described his precious gifts of love and laughter. Her son, unable to continue reading, asked a friend to read the many reasons he admired, respected, and loved his father.

One of Ron’s sisters led us in singing the folk songs he loved, including: “500 Miles” by Peter, Paul and Mary; and “This Land is Your Land” by Woody Guthrie. His niece wrote and sang a beautiful song in tribute to him; his son-in-law told of Ron’s generous and accepting personality.

Each person who spoke mentioned Ron's love of family, his intelligence, his commitment to the world around him, and his laughter. Their love for him and their obvious loss stood in tribute to a life well-lived.

Our dearest Ron.
You have lived your life well, with sensitivity, integrity, and compassion.
We miss you so much, and love you always now and through eternity.
Until we meet again. Your family.

Ron passionately supported and believed in the work Anna was doing through her book, How to cope with Stress after Trauma; Especially for Veterans, their Families and Friends. In his memory, she created a fund which will be used to give books to those in need of healing. If you wish to learn more about her book written to help our veterans and others suffering from PTSD, go to www.anaparkergoodwin.com.

Ronald Hayse Goodwin


Ronald Hayse Goodwin, Ph.D. in entomology (invertebrate pathology), beloved husband of Anna Goodwin for 49 years, and father of Tonya (Chris) and Jason (Maria), completed his journey on earth on Aug. 8, 2014, at the age of 80. He had five grandchildren and one great-grandson. His family and many of his friends will always remember his brilliant mind and his quickness to play jokes, to laugh and love. They will treasure and remember him for the rest of their lives.

Ron was a veteran of the U.S. Army, a high school teacher, and then a research scientist for 30 years, before he retired to the Coeur d'Alene area. He was very much a family man and spent hours playing with his children. He was born on Oct. 15, 1933, in Hollywood, Calif., where his father was a backdrop artist for Paramount Pictures on films such as "Gone with the Wind" and "Lost Horizon." At the age of 7 he and his mother moved to the San Francisco area where he grew up, taught high school and graduated from UC Berkeley.

After his marriage to Anna they moved to Canberra, Australia, where he worked as an invertebrate pathologist for the Australian government (CSIRO), studying insect diseases to spread on the fields instead of insecticides. After three years they returned to Maryland where he worked for the United States Department of Agriculture creating tissue cultures of the army worm and infecting them with insect viruses to spread on infested trees. His tissue culture media has been used throughout the world, including Russia.

His last large project was to help his wife Anna, a psychotherapist, write, publish, and distribute her book "How to Cope with Stress after Trauma: Especially for Veterans, their Families and Friends." He had a deep passion for our veterans and their families, especially for the children, who were not receiving the help they needed.

Memorial Day-Book to help Veterans and Families Cope with Severe Stress.

My book How to Cope with Post Trauma Stress: Especially for Veterans, their Families, and Friends is on Amazon both as a Kindle book and a paper book in time for Memorial Day. It includes a stress test, relevant information about post-trauma stress (PTS), twenty steps to recovery, and help for the veteran's families and friends.

But, you say, memorial day is to honor the soldiers who have died to protect our freedoms. Yes, you are right. However, I believe that in remembering with love and appreciation all our heroes who have given their lives, we must also equally remember all those who have served us and survived. We cannot separate Memorial Day from Veteran's Day. Except for "the luck of the draw" the people who died and those who lived are the same, not one more brave and deserving than the other.

Many soldiers in the last two wars have survived because of modern medicine. Many, many veterans are coming home physically and emotionally injured. They are the ones who in the past were the ones who died. As you  have no doubt heard recently, one of the problems we are now facing, is that the country is not prepared to receive and help this many suffering veterans. There are long waiting periods in VA hospitals and doctor's offices. In the meantime veterans feel hopeless, deserted, and they are dying because of lack of care here at home instead of in a war zone overseas. They feel as though nobody cares. And to some extent they are right.

Because we now have a volunteer army, many people at home are no longer personally or meaningfully invested in what happens in the war. They are told to "go out and shop." The news rarely covers what is happening out on the battlefield, and we don't even see the coffins or wounded men come home. We forget they exist, or that we are at war. Of course, since Vietnam, ordinary citizens have learned a lesson they have not forgotten and that is to thank the veteran's for their service instead of calling them names.

That's great, but do people really see the veterans and their loved ones as human beings like they are? Can you personally step into a veteran's shoes and put yourself in her/his place? Or are the veterans merely "out there," distant from you? Do you know really what they are going through or would you rather inadvertently close your eyes to their needs and their suffering? Did you personally know what was going on in the VA? Did you care when you found out?

So what is the solution? How can we help our veteran's reintegrate when they come home? Ed Tick in his book  War and the Veteran's Soul: Healing our Nation's Veterans from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, calls war a soul pain, a spiritual, and moral injury. Tick gives a powerful example in his book of how things could be different. He tells the story of how the Native American's once sent their warriors off to fight for them and how they reintegrated them.

When the veteran's returned, the entire community would sit in a circle and gather around them. They would allow their warriors to truthfully tell their stories of both the "good and bad things" that happened in battle. The community did not shame or judge them for what the warriors had done. Instead they shared the warrior's joy, their guilt, and their grief. After all, the tribe had, as a whole, sent the warriors to fight to protect them. The entire tribe listened, they held the returning warriors, and loved and supported them through their time of reintegration (sometimes for months) until they could stand alone again.

What would happen if we helped our warriors reintegrate in this way? It is time for everyone, individually, to take responsibility for our wars and our veterans. We, as a nation (yes, that means all of us personally) have sent the men and women to war and everyone of us must take responsibility to reintegrate them into our society, and not just with money. It means a personal investment in a veteran or veterans that you can help, love, and support physically and/or emotionally.

This book is my contribution to hurting veterans. If you know a veteran or family member who could use the help given in this book, please let them know about How to Cope with Stress after Trauma: Especially for Veterans, their Families and Friends.

Think about what you personally can do to help our veterans reintegrate and share it with the rest of us this Memorial Day.